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Fell off the wagon, again.


I am guessing that after 2 years it might be time to "blog it up" once again.


The last few years have been uber busy and stressful, many things I won't go into, but I will tell that I fell off the "Diabetic in control" wagon.

I call it burn out, others call it fed-up, tired, denial, whatever.

It happens, we are human after all. A diabetics day (whether type 1 or type 2 or any other of the lastest version of diabetes) is full of reminders, no-no's, monitors, medicine etc. Many days when all we want to do is forget we have a pain-in-the-ass chronic disease, we are faced with a myriad of decisions and reminders that we do indeed have this disease and we are not like "normal" people.

The hardest part of this disease, for me anyway, is the food to mouth aspect. I cannot eat like most people around me, I can't even eat at the same times that many people around me do. I must juggle food timing as well as the actual type of foods I choose to eat every single god forsaken day and let me tell you something - it. gets. old.

Yeah, yeah I know I should be thankful for _______, or I should count my blessings that I don't have ________ instead of diabetes, and most days I do, but I am, once again, human, and things do get to me. I am the first one to admit that I need to wrestle with that particular demon and slay it once and for all.

So roughly 2 years ago, the demon slayed me. I was tired. I had been good for 3 full years prior. I lost a lot of weight, my readings were all very good. But I could feel the frustrations setting in when over the course of the last 3-4 years I was put on 4 different diabetic meds (some injections) and everyone of them after a period of time failed. One lasted nearly a year and a half - Byetta, but although Byetta was great for my numbers my quality of life failed. I was left weak as a kitten, felt as though I had a case of morning sickness everyday all day and it made my teeth hurt (a little nuisance I am paying for as we speak).

I couldn't take it anymore. Luckily a new injectable came onto the scene about this time - Victoza. Victoza was amazing! I lost another 10 lbs and the nausea and tiredness went away. I was on top of the world! That lasted about 8 months and all of a sudden the numbers started rising and the weight started showing up again.

At this time my doctor (as frustrated as I was) started me on the dreaded insulin injections. I learned a very valuable lesson with Levamir, if you are an insulin resistant diabetic, no amount of synthetic insulin introduced into your system is going to make those numbers drop. Obviously I am still producing my own insulin, my body just doesnt receive it.

So after a few months of that, back to Victoza I went and it worked again! ... for 3 months. Now what?

Well low and behold a NEW inject-able entered the arena...well more like a new version of an old medicine. Enter Bydureon. The diabetic Gods were listening to us after all! Byetta is a twice a day inject-able that must be introduced at a specific time relating to food; Victoza is a once a day inject-able that can be introduced anytime daily; now Bydureon is a ONCE PER WEEK injection any time of the day you choose!!!!

True the system for mixing and loading the syringe can be intimidating (lots of steps) I didn't care! once a week was just this side of heaven for me. So, after months of mixing, drawing and injecting (with a rather large guage needle - ouch) amid little hard lumps that would form under my skin at the injection sites, once again failure set it. Numbers ballooned, thirst ensued, hunger went crazy, ugh.

That was over a year ago.

Now, I am beginning again. I went off all diabetic meds about a year ago and stopped seeing my doctor. Throw a relocation into the mix (from Florida to Atlanta) and I have been spurred on to try again. My time-out is over and its time to stop playing this game.

My labs came back 4 days ago, I think it was a defining moment in my life. My fasting reading was 373, my A1c was an astounding 15.1. I am going to die if I don't get this under control.

So I am back to being a walking pharmacy:
  • 50/1000 mg Janumet
  • 20 mg simvistatin
  • 5 mg levothyroxin
  • 50 mg zoloft
  • 1mg lorazapam
  • Cipro (bladder infection
So here we go again, lets see what road this takes me down.

Oh and PS just to keep track, weight is 192
PSS That is NOT my foot above, I just wanted to get your attention lol, wow.
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